is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
