what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
