Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
