Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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