Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
