How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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