you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
