I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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