just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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