forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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