Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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