I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
