Can Purell be used as lube?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
