I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
