You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
