If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
