I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
