We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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