Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize