K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
