i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
That accounts for only three of the penises
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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