i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Hello my rib-scented angel!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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