I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize