tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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