Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
