after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
