he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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