May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
