You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize