Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
