hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The struggles of a small town man whore
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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