I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
