Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
