Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
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I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
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Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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