Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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