apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
