I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
