You made me cry and you don't even care
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
