If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
