Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
