I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
