ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
