what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
