I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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