I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Randomize