After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Randomize
