The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i barfeds in our rink
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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