you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
