I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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