Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
