I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
