i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
operation have a gay friend backfired
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize