So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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