so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
