I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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