Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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