Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
