We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Enjoy the penises
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize