Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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