ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
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she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
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And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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